Puddles of Alligators

by Walter Mitty and His Makeshift Orchestra

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credits

released September 6, 2019

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Making New Enemies Ventura, California

www.makingnewenemies.com

Art Collective / Utopian Cult / Soul Posse

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Track Name: Pink Eye
And I’ve heard way too much Expendables to call this a good week
and I’ve got chronic advertisements in my head
and without my poor retainer, how am I supposed to sleep?
You don’t understand. You don’t think the way I think.

And I owe 6 or 7 people the clever side of me
but I felt more real when they thought I was a chump
and all my favorite days are lonesome humming simple melodies
it’s nice to meet you, I’m pathetic, leave me be

Now I’m all dried up of confidence when I’m not 6 shots deep
and I’ve been too sober to tell you how I feel
But when I told you I had pink eye, I didn’t mean to make you scream
I was just looking for a little sympathy.
Track Name: Chocolate Old-Fashioned
We ended late last night and on the bike ride home
you told me just about everything
and it hit me too just as I turned down Tustin home
you know? you know you know you know

and goddammit we will never burn this bright again
I've got this feeling that we're peeling off our layers of friends
and oh Crawford I don't think we'll ever feel this brave
we used to dig to China, now we're just digging graces
and oh I hope we're going places
and oh I hope we're going places

I need this lovely town to forget me
I need this chocolate old fashioned to forget about it
I need these dreamy eyes to surrender
if only I remember what it takes
when we come home christmas break

We ended late last night at Oh Those Donuts
you told me just about everything
and our bikes just watched as we drank our milk real slow
you know? you know you know you know

and holy shit we'll never drive through old town Orange again
we'll never blaze in your garage, I'll never baby sit Ben
and we'll give up cause staying in touch is way too hard
I'll you you on your birthday
you'll send me Christmas cards
and oh I hope we both are happy
and oh I hope we both are happy

I need this lovely town to forget me
I need this chocolate old fashioned to forget about it
I need these dreamy eyes to surrender
if only I remember what it takes
when we come home christmas break
Track Name: Hand-Me-Downs
My best friend's name is PCH and she hardly ever gives me any problems
my boyfriend's name is Morro Bay and he kicks my ass when I go down
my veins are filled with THC and it hardly ever gives me any problems
I think I finally stopped thinking what you think of me
I outgrew all my old hand-me-downs
Track Name: Funny Faces
We got a little sentimental
smoking six reds on Lido
and I could hardly stand to leave such a place
kidnapped by four wheels and a four hour drive

I parked around the corner
let Reptar crack his knuckles
tap Noah twice for the safe drive and sanity
and all I thought about was the black frame
around a picture Jake's mom took in 8th grade
Track Name: Farm Trees and Fences
Hazy-eyed
I watch the clouds go by
you haven't met me yet cause I've been staying indoors
away from all closed minds
and all the people I pretend to like
I've got a best friend to keep my chin up, to keep me floored

and I sit so small on the curb watch my whole world change
and I'm just sipping on some soda pop
and trying to squeeze some flavor out of each face
but their just dry and unlike me
of all the people here, I've only kissed farm trees and fences
but these little birds don't offer much conversation
Track Name: Mellow
Oh what a beautiful day to be a jelly fish
let the wind control, let the sun sink in
got a buck in my hand and a smile on my face
I kinda like this place
with my hands in my pockets ya I'm feeling alright
humming something that sounds like Pennywise
I've got some fears that I'm ready to meet
but as for now I kinda like my seat
on the curb as I watch the whole world fly by
everyone complaining of a shitty life
but I don't mind the smell of my own shit
you see, the world is like a yellow light
you can shoot right through or stop at the line
but I'm not really feeling yellow
I'm kind of feeling more mellow
I've got a good friend moving off of my street
and a girl on my mind who's really getting to me
everyone's telling me who to be
telling me to sort out my priorities
and you can call me crazy, say I'm running out of time
but I've got this funny feeling I'll be fine
ya I've got this funny feeling I'll be fine
Track Name: Suck It Up
Woody Guthrie light my cig and tell me how you're crazy
Woody Guthrie pour me shots and tell me about the crazies
it's hard hard hard hard out here

Billie Joe sing me songs about how you went crazy
Billie Joe pack a bowl and teach me about the crazies
its hard hard hard hard out here

Mom and dad, pity me, prescribe me something crazy
mom and dad, arthritis, next stop it's the crazies
it's hard hard hard hard out here

Oh dear me, lay it down and sleep away the crazy
oh dear me, suck it up, you're not going crazy
its not hard, not hard, not so fucking hard out here
Track Name: Puddles of Alligators
Puddles of alligators
are napping on my tongue
I try my best to entertain them
but my best isn't enough
so why don't you come over?
cause no one else is home
I'll show you all my little gators
I'm not safe when I'm alone

You see they ripped open the Cheerios
and threw them all across the floor
they make me punch holes in the drywall
tell me to always lock my door
you see they made me kill the tv
they made me hate my little phone
they took a knife to all my neighbors
so I could finally be alone

Oh my puddles of alligators
I think they're starting to wake up
and I don't know how to amuse them
and I don't think I have the guts
so please, please can you come over?
cause now there's no one left at home
just keep me calm til I can tame them
I can't handle this alone
Track Name: All the Pretty Fishes
She was the poison apple of my eye
5"4 of temptation
We made some noise on the dock late at night
and I swore it was a one-time situation
But now I'm buying her lunch and blowing kisses
there's no more fish in the sea, I've got a Mrs.
I guess I'm saying goodbye to all the pretty fishes
Track Name: Scrubbing the Mold
Well she's on her own now and she can do whatever she choose
I'm in the clouds showing symptoms of the Weird Portland Blues
I carry on in a sweatpants prom calmly scrubbing the mold
Gunna make it better with the right amount of Tuesdays
Revelation afternoons
to learn the whole world exists only to fuck with my mood
I really should no better than to blame the weather at all
still I'm complaining saying nothing too important

Now I don't know how to act around you
but this doesn't feel like it used to, honest
lingered on to the front lawn
I was never one for making my mind up to tell you
Had a heart to heart with a hero
realized we have nothing in common
except we both drive drowsy often
and there's a lot we want to accomplish
Track Name: Carry Me Back to the Purple Palace
Carry me back to the purple palace
just let me dine with other strangers all alone
no place on earth is open late when it matters
carry me to the closest purple lights you know

Can you bury me deep at the first signs of sunshine?
Repeat my name til it's unrecognizable
the words don't know but they're choking us both
the words don't know we've turned to stone

Next time we talk ive got some sad things to tell you
next time you leave I think it might be for good
our wick is watered down
sweet hearts are soggy now
Your love leaves me limp lamenting how we were
Oh if only it burned

Carry me back to the purple palace
just let me dine with other strangers all alone
no place on earth is open late when it matters
carry me to the closest purple lights you know
Track Name: Wetter Days
I've seen beauty take many forms
and I've heard death get the call to action
and I've heard our troubles keep the spirits warm
providing them thrills
and they will only talk if we can meditate alone without checking our phones
making too short of tombstones
I fear this but I really think so
the wetter days have come
so I sat down in the shower
praying that the hot water would last forever
and that the wind would blow little truths down my chimney in notes
I know that I don't know shit about all the things that I say
and I can barely peel the fiction from in front of my face
I figure heaven is a living room on a rainy day
they offer endless hot chocolates
only $1 mochas
Track Name: I'm Off to Paradise
Oh I've driven for miles
and took every back road
through earthquakes and while hurricanes hit us
Learned that everything is suffering and everyone's cold
can't escape the sad inherent in us

But I'm going to where everyone's comfortable
with drop menu weather as climate control
cause life is better with no surprise
I'm off the paradise

If my lazy days there make me dumb, I don't care
we'll have everything provided for us
Darling don't let your stress leave you crippled to death
come along, better health's waiting for us

Cause I'm going to where everyone smiles a lot
genetically altered however you want
cause I'd look better with golden eyes
I'm off to paradise

Oh I've heard of a shot you can take when you're not
feeling ultra content with the daydreams you've got
but our one saving grace- not a cure, but a place
and I long to be saved by whatever it takes

So I'm going to where everyone's equally free
cause everyone's given the same exact things
where no one gets lonely cause friends are assigned
I'm off to paradise...

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