You Will Never Be Happy

by Hemingway

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Meanwhile 03:07
i could never feel that way. i could never feel the same. i'll sleep on the floor for the rest of the night. then i'll leave you alone for the rest of your life. i could never give you what you need. when i think of you i feel nothing.
we don't talk like we used to. i never felt the way you did. i don't see you like i used to. you wanted more than i could give. i feel the silence fall between. what you wanted is still nothing. i feel worse than i used to. does rhode island feel the same. could things ever be like they used to be. is there still nothing here for me. i feel the loss inside of me. and what you wanted is still nothing.
Delusional 02:26
we sat alone inside the first night that i took you out. till i found the nerve to finally kiss you on your sister's couch. but i think too much and mess it up and now i'm sick of you. just to call you back and tell you that i think i'm in love with you. now i miss you everyday. i know that you must hate every single word i say. it's hard for me to forget you. i'm so delusional. you're sick of me and now it's someone else that takes you out. i sit alone and think about you and your sister's couch. but it's too late. your mind has changed. i don't think i could ever see. i'm so delusional i still think you're in love with me. but now we only talk in my head. the only place where our conversations never end. i pray you find the love you need. but i still think it's me. i'm so delusional i still think i'm in love with you. i'm so delusional i still think i'm the one for you. i'm so delusional.
in the night you wait for a hand to hold onto. but the love you came for is not here for you. in some house off hawthorne we talk and say good bye. this cosmic connection beneath cold april skies. and it's true how i loved you. but now we're through cause i don't think i'm the one for you. and you'd think you'd hate me. i wish that you did. but instead you treat me like i don't exist. when you look at me what do you see. when you fall asleep are we friends in your dreams. two thousand miles away from you. it's your green eyes that keep me blue. it sucks to say but it's true. how i don't think i'm the one for you. i'm not the one for you.
Pouring In 03:18
please don't fall asleep. i don't think that i can leave if you don't listen. if you don't listen to me. cause i need you more and i don't care if you believe. please don't tell me. please don't tell me what i think. what do you know that i don't. i want to see you. i want to feel you but i won't. everything is pouring in. i don't know what happen. you just say you never cared like it really matters. and if i see you down the road please don't tell me i was wrong. i know i'm wrong. i'm always wrong. i never saw you when i wanted to talk alone. is it me or someone else i just wanted you to know. i don't feel the way i did. don't tell me that you don't. but why should you. why would you ever care to know. please just fall asleep cause all i want to do is leave. you don't listen. you never listen to me. i needed you more but i don't care if you believe. please don't tell me what you think.
Sure 03:50
throw my heart into the sea. it never felt right inside of me. cut me open in the sun. show you i'm the only one who feels this way. maybe science could explain. why we feel so much pain. you're a dream that came true. but still i found a way to get over you. finding reasons to stay sad. you were right about me. losing all the friends i have. when you said you will never be happy. i don't think there's one for me. i don't know how we could be. it's so hard to believe in anything. sure.
It's Love 02:15
just take the photographs from your wall. and tear me away from you. you never cared for how you looked in them but i do. i cannot sleep without you. cause i'm pretty sure it's love. yeah i think it's love. please let me sleep inside your memories. the only place i feel in tune. i never cared about another one. but you do yeah do now i do too. i'm losing me without you. i'm scared it might be love. but we don't share the sun or sleep in the same room. but now i'm pretty sure it's love. god i hope it's love.
tore myself away from you. never felt like something true. i don't know why i even try. i feel stupid i feel dumb. giving up on everyone. guess i wasn't made for love. but it's really not so bad. i'm missing things that i never had. feelings change and so do you. wish i had the guts to say. i never fell for you that way. my heart just can't see things through. we both tried it didn't work. you blame me call me a jerk. for taking time out of your life. always hoping that it's love but i never give enough. i guess we should have just been friends. i'm not happy i'm not sad. missing someone that i never had. if i was you i'd hate me too. wish i had the guts to say. i never meant to make your feel this way. i am lonely just like you. but my feelings always change. there's always something in the way. this is why i feel so bad. but our feelings always change. there's always someone in the way. this is why we feel so sad. love will always be a dream. i don't think it's meant for me. missing everything i'll never have.
Always Blue 02:49
at the heart of all your love. i'm not the only one. your world is always changing. soon you'll forget what my name is. if i could hold you one last time. or hear your voice with mine. i know just why you left me. i know it's not your fault. blue love.
it's hard for me to care for you when i feel so low. could you please pretend to care about me too. when everyone i try to love i always seem to lose. only wish you needed me like i needed you. i'm lacking confidence in what you said. still hating myself for hating all my friends. could you tell me exactly what you meant when you said, i could never fall in love again. we always take what we can get no matter where it comes from. just to fall asleep thinking someone loves us. sick of feeling sad over what could have been. i try to bleed it out but it always creeps back in. i try to sleep to escape the feeling of loneliness but it always wins.


released June 23, 2017

all songs written and recorded by benjamin ward and dustin hayes.

additional vocals by laken wright on feelings change.
additional guitar by kevin thrakulchavee on still nothing.

recorded with matt thomson at ivy league studios in portland, or.
mastered by jack shirley at the atomic garden in palo alto, ca.

cover photo by zachary jones.
cover design by peter nguyen.


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Art Collective / Utopian Cult / Soul Posse

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